“Pain exists only in resistance
joy exists only in acceptance
painful situations which you heartily accept
become joyful
joyful situations which you do not accept
become painful
there is no such thing as a bad experience
bad experiences are simply creations of your resistance to what is”
- Rumi
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Tagged: Resistance
I was emailed this excellent article by Ronya Banks.
Practised on a daily basis, what an amazing tool to
stay in the NOW. Read on: …
Quote: “Its never too late to be what you might have been”
Top 10 Ways to Raise Your Consciousness
By Ronya Banks
Life can be a GIFT or a NIGHTMARE, depending on where you choose to operate from consciously. Practiced regularly, the following 10 tips will assist you in shining your beautiful unique light so brightly that your resulting raised consciousness will be a GIFT to yourself, humanity, and the Cosmos.
1. Forgive yourself and others.
Life is too short to hold on to regrets, grudges, miscommunications, or disappointments. Free yourself by forgiving and letting go of any negative energy you’re holding on to about yourself and/or others. There are many ways to do this. One way is to write down anything you’re ready to let go of and ceremonially tear it into small pieces and throw it away as you forgive. You may even choose to verbally forgive anyone you’ve been resenting. Either way, the process of forgiving yourself and others will result in your feeling light and free, and consequently raise your vibration.
2. Practice gratitude and appreciation.
Whatever you focus on grows. So, when you focus on every thing in your life you have to feel grateful for and all the wonderful people you appreciate, the universe hands you more to feel grateful about. It’s a wonderfully reciprocal consciousness raising process.
3. Live each day as though it were your last.
If today was your last known day in this lifetime, with what type of people would you surround yourself? What would you say to the people you care about? What personal gifts would you make sure you imparted to humanity and the earth? Live each day as if it was your last, and you will be living in a state of light, love and unconditional contribution.
4. Meditate/Pray.
You open up a direct link between yourself and the spiritual realm when you meditate and/or pray. Meditation and prayer can be used to bring you closer to your creator energy, raise your vibration, bring you peace, clarity, joy, and connection, as well assist you in experiencing a perfectly balanced state between your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies.
5. Suspend judgment.
This world is laden with judgment, irresponsibility, and finger pointing. One judges another to feel less guilty about one’s own misgivings. Judgment energy is dense, dark, and heavy. On the other hand, unconditional acceptance is light, free, and accepting. Let go of judging and criticizing yourself and others. Everyone is on a different path, and some appear to be further ahead on their path than others. Neither path is better nor worse than another. Raise your consciousness to one of acceptance.
6. View every experience as a GIFT.
If you look back at occurrences in your life, you can easily see how even the worst situations you experienced in your life ended up teaching you invaluable lessons and therefore ended up putting you in the perfect place for your continuing development. When you view every experience, the good, the bad, and the ugly as a GIFT, life flows more like a gentle, inspiring breeze.
7. Stay consciously aware of all of your thoughts and feelings.
Until you raise the consciousness of the entire human race, it is extremely easy to fall back in to all pervasive negative patterns of complaining and feeling like a victim of society and a victim of your life. To stay out of these patterns, check in with yourself your present thoughts and feelings several times a day. When you catch yourself in the Negative zone, don’t feel badly about it and beat yourself up. Simply choose to switch your consciousness to one of gratitude and positive thinking. Remain conscious.
8. Treat your physical body as your temple.
Your body is the only vehicle you’ve been given for this ride called “LIFE.” The better you care for your body by eating a healthy, balanced diet, and by implementing a regular exercise routine, and by giving your body the rest it requires, the more you will experience increased energy, vitality, joy, and freedom. Honor, love, appreciate and take extra good care of your body, and you will be raising your energy and your consciousness.
9. View the world through the eyes of a child.
Observe a baby or a young child. It won’t take you long to notice that young children are constantly totally enthralled by the process of observing and experiencing the wonder and beauty in every single thing, color, texture, and person they meet. They can’t get enough! Look at every tree, sunset, cloud, and human being as a child would and you’ll be in a constant state of wonder, joy, surprise, acceptance, and enlightenment.
10. Give LOVE, LOVE, LOVE from your heart.
It’s all about love. Do you remember the feeling of being in love for the first time? Why was it so wonderful? That’s because love is the highest vibration. Allow yourself to receive love unconditionally from others. Give love from your heart unconditionally to yourself and others, and you will experience the highest state of consciousness possible.
- About the Submitter: This piece was originally submitted by Ronya Banks, Degrees in both Psychology and Computer Programming, as well as certification in extensive leadership trainings, Life coach, trainer, business owner, entrepreneur, mother, writer, and mentor, who can be reached at rbanks@livinginaction.com, or visited on the web.
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Tagged: Daily Living, TOOLS
MAKING VALENTINE’S DAY A YEAR-ROUND CELEBRATION!
by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
It was exciting news. My husband Mark’s son was getting married and Mark was asked to be the best man. He knew that, as is customary, he would be called upon to give a little talk. For months prior to the wedding, he thought about what special advice he could give to send the bride and groom on the pathway toward a wonderful life together.
The time finally came for him to deliver his talk, and the words that came out of his mouth were moving, funny and wise. But what created a very special moment for the entire room was when he gave the bride and groom the seven magical words that they were to say to each other daily. And these words were…
“Thank you for being in my life.”
Certainly all the guests at the wedding were very moved. At the end of Mark’s talk, as everyone stood and began toasting the bride and groom and each other, you could hear the words, “Thank you for being in my life” reverberating throughout the room, accompanied by a tangible sense of love and appreciation. Mark spoke from experience, because these are the words that continue to bring a feeling of blessing into our hearts as we, in our own marriage, repeat them daily.
For many of us, Valentine’s Day is a special day, but only a day, which focuses on our showering our mate with words of love. That’s beautiful, but I suggest that we need to make the sound of love a year-round habit. We need to create a “Valentine’s Year” during which time we learn to inject the sound of love into all of our interactions with each other. As I describe in The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love, there are so many ways to do that. But “Thank you for being in my life” is a good way to start.
Mark and I have learned that those two simple, but deeply important, words, “THANK YOU” represent a monumentally grand way to celebrate love. Yet, as we look around, we notice that they are words too seldom spoken in many relationships. Anger and resentment often get in the way…and the wonderful words “Thank you” are seldom uttered. Many would rather bite their tongue than utter any words of thanks. I can guarantee that this lack of appreciation of what our mate actually does for us signals the ultimate death of the relationship.
On the other hand, appreciation of what is good causes our anger to diminish and our love to grow. Think about it: The words “Thank you” mean we have been given something. By definition, the more we say “Thank you” the more we feel our abundance. And if we say these words often enough, we begin feeling incredibly blessed. We focus on what is there, not what isn’t. You can see that…by not repeatedly saying “Thank you” we are hurting ourselves just as much as we are hurting the one we claim to love! Consciousness of all the beauty that our mate brings into our lives is an important ingredient of a beautiful life.
Too many of us withhold our thanks for the simple reason that we fail to notice the many things our mate does for us. Wouldn’t it be great if a red light would go on every time our mate did something for us? Little things. Big things. A cup of coffee…a kiss on the cheek…helping to put money in the bank…raising the kids…and on and on and on. So much is taken for granted. Just think of all the so-called mundane tasks that your mate does in the course of everyday life–all expressions of his/her love and deserving of your thanks. “But, Susan, that’s his/her job.” Then, how about, “Thank you for a job well done.” I suspect that as you begin saying “Thank you” to your mate for doing his/her “job”, it will melt his/her heart–and yours.
Trust me when I tell you that a beautiful love can’t exist when we take the blessings of our union for granted. So begin right now by appreciating all that your mate does in your life. Don’t let another day pass before you say, “Thank you for being in my life.” And do as Mark and I always do, add the words, “I love you.” As we shower our appreciation and love onto our mates, we become happier, healthier…and our relationship thrives.
And remember, if you are not in a relationship…begin saying “Thank you” to the world around you. Just practice… practice… practice…until your words of thanks have become a beautiful habit. You will begin drawing love toward you from all over the place. The Law of Attraction in action!
I WISH YOU A WONDERFUL VALENTINE’S YEAR
…AND…
THANK YOU FOR BEING IN MY LIFE.
I LOVE YOU…
From my heart to yours,
Susan Jeffers
© 2008 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
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Stigma: A Major Barrier to Treatment for AddictionBy Christie Bates-MacKaskle Jermey flew into town one evening to interview for an executive position at a major corporation the next morning. Sonny from human resource met him at the airport and offered to take him to dinner. Even though Jeremy was hungry, he lied and said that he’d eaten on the plane. Jeremy was afraid that Sonny might want drinks with dinner, like a lot of guys do, and he would have to say, “No, thanks.” Jeremy didn’t want that to happen. He doesn’t drink anymore, but he doesn’t want anyone from the corporation to suspect he’s ever had a problem with alcohol. Addiction is a disease. No one asks to be addicted to alcohol, drugs or anything else. Hundreds of years ago, stigma was the name for a scar left by a hot iron. Today, that hot iron is the shame associated with addiction. In fact, stigma is now defined as a mark of shame. We live in a society that promotes drug use, such as the obligatory drink with dinner. But that same society brands people with same if they are unable to drink “normally” or use certain drugs as prescribed.Sonny was relieved when Jeremy said no to dinner. That way, he could go home and drink alone, without anyone knowing how much he drank. After taking something to help him sleep, Sonny sits in front of the television with what he hopes is his last drink tonight. He sees an ad for an addiction treatment facility. Sonny has called the number on the screen before just after his wife took the kids and left, but he can’t bring himself to go into treatment. He feels he can’t afford to be gone in the middle of planning this year’s job fair. The company counts on the fair to fill its many clerical positions. Besides, even if it might not be able to fire him outright, it sure would hurt him come promotion time if the company finds out he can’t stop drinking by himself.
In spring of 2002, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Ontario, Canada, issue a final report on its “Project to Address the Stigma of Addiction.” It had studied literature and interviewed addicts and their families. The project found that those who experienced addiction were affected by its stigma in a variety of ways. They had been denied their civil rights in terms of housing or medical treatment, for example. Many reported an inability to get or keep a job. They internalized the stigma, which only added to the self-loathing created by the disease. Worst of all, stigma had a direct impact on self-defeating patterns such as secrecy and the failure to seek help. Stigma silence both Jeremy and Sonny, when they might otherwise do each other some good.Another troubling aspect of stigma is that it is not only evident in the masses. People who work in the helping professions – such as law enforcement, social work, education and even medicine – are just as likely to hold shame-based attitudes toward addiction as the rest of the population. Rather than recognize addicts as individuals with a medical condition, people who are unfamiliar with addiction are likely to stereotype them as derelict, anti-social criminals who bring nothing but suffering.
The Project did uncover some solutions to the problem of stigma, however. It concluded that the most effective ways to reduce stigma with regard to addiction are as follows:
In response to this sort of research, many public and private agencies throughout the world have recruited members of the recovery community to help de-stigmatize addiction using exactly those methods.If there is an alcohol and drug council in your community, there is a probably an organization under its umbrella that seeks to lift the burden of stigma from those who suffer the most from addiction. You may find it valuable to your own recovery to volunteer your time there. Not only can you help ease the suffering of addicts still in the throes of the disease, you can help heal the scars of your own stigma.
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I read this quote last night: ‘Honour the past and the future as points of reference, not as places of recidence’ and it reminded me again that all I really have is this NOW, this moment.
The past is gone, and whatever happened I cannot change it. I take responsibility for it, I learn the lesson and then I move on. And tomorrow? It’s going to happen, with or without me. My challenge is to stay in this moment and be the best I can be moment to moment. It doesn’t mean that I have to be perfect, only that I am doing my best, every minute of my day.
This is the theory behind staying centered and living life on lives terms. Yet we all know that the Miracle is in the Doing. I have found the following actions helpful:
- Deep breathing. Whenever I notice some tension in my body, I stop, and take a couple of deep breaths. I use the words ‘Slow down’ on the in breath, and ‘Let it Go’ on the out breath. I do not resist the tension, rather I will ask questions of it, for instance, ‘What is going on, what do you want to tell me?’ I then let it go on the out breath, blowing the tension out as a child blows soap bubbles.
- Mindfulness. Focusing my mind on what I am doing in the moment is also a great help and I will engage all my senses. If I eat, I will really look at whatever I am eating and see what’s there to see. I will listen to any sounds as I eat, feel the feelings as it food enters my mouth and travels down to where ever it goes. I will smell what ever smells there is in that moment. I do not judge these sensations, I just notice them and then let them go. I love to touch objects and really feel the texture, see the colours and press it against my body.
- Daily readings. My early morning reading is a special time for me. I look for a word, or a sentence that resonates with me in that moment and I write it down. During my day, whenever I feel off balance, I will read and reflect on my daily message.
- Routine and Structure. I plan my day in advance and it is one of the most powerful tools I have. Every night before I go to sleep I will look at my daily planner for the next day and so plant the seeds of success in my unconscious mind.
- Positive Affirmations. On a daily basis I use a selected positive affirmation and repeat it whenever I can. My current favourites are ‘Whatever happens, I can handle it’, ‘Every moment in every day I am getting better and better’, and ‘The quality of My Life depends only on me! I choose to be the creator of powerful and loving thoughts.’
- Giving back. Doing something nice for someone else is a way of giving back – and it sometimes is just small things like greeting a stranger, give someone a gap in the traffic, compliment someone, etc.
- Gratitude. An attitude of Gratitude is such a centering exercise and I practise on a daily basis to give thanks for the abundance and blessings in my life. Every time I think I’ve really got nothing to be thankful for, the saying that ‘I was complaining that I had no shoes till I met a man who had no feet’ pops into my mind and my gratitude flows for all that I have.
Success at anything is simple – it is just a matter of repetition of little thoughts and little actions. Simple steps.
I am curious to know what you are doing to stay in this moment. I am looking forward to your replies.
Love and light,
Jurgens
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Tagged: BREATHING, Inspiration, LIVING, NOW, TOOLS
What a blessing to be alive and to know that 2008 is great. We at FAVOR SA are truly grateful. This year we are celebrating our fifth year of existence and our website www.favor.org.za is going from strength to strength. We now receive more than 120 000 visitors/hits a month and last year we had more than a million visitors. This is still South Africa’s only One Stop Portal for information on Substance Abuse and we provide various Local and International links to educate and support our visitors around substance misuse issues.
Favor’s Board of Directors has decided that 2008 is the year when we will truly become the faces and voices of recovery and show South Africa that Recovery is a Reality. Exciting things have been happening, specifically the following: - Jurgens Smit has been appointed Executive Director of Favor SA and he is responsible for driving and implementing our public information, education, training and support programmes. Gavin Taylor and Neels Blaauw have also joined our board and add valuable experience.
- We have moved our offices to Community House in Salt River. This means that we are so much more accessible to our members and the public. Plans to establish a Recovery Library and meeting room at our premises are in an advanced stage.
- We now have a dedicated 24 hour telephone line on 082 4277 267;
- Several Fundraising and Celebration Events have been planned. We are currently promoting our “African Quilt” raffle. During February/March we will be the host in the screening of the Original Off-Broadway Production “Bill W. and Dr. Bob”, and later this year we will host a live “Celebrate Life” Concert.
- This year FAVORSA will be an active partner in events celebrating recovery during the month of June. Our ongoing campaign of ‘Drug Education is Hiv/Aids Prevention’ will form part of National Aids Day in December and followed up by our involvement in the 16 days of activism against abuse.
Help us to achieve our objectives – visit our website, refer people, show by example that Recovery is a Reality. Help us to raise the funds we need to step into this gap called ‘Possibility’. Support our Raffle Draw – buy a ticket, even better buy a book! Tickets and books are available from our offices and at selected retail outlets. Even easier, tickets are available online at www.favor.org.za/news.php
Thank you for your support. It is great to be able to count on you and to know that you are part of this passionate team at FAVOR. May 2008 be the year that the Recovery Movement really makes a difference in the lives of the masses still suffering in the active grip of addiction.
Yours in Gratitude
Frank Rousseau
Chairman: FavorSA
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